Broken Printing Press Threatens Global Economic Recovery
Tweet Concerns swirled around Washington D.C. and New York today as leaders in the United States' political and economic capitals fretted about the impact of a partial shutdown of a Bureau of Engraving...
View ArticleLloyd Blankfein “Saves Humanity”, Donates Brain to Science
Tweet Still loathed by the international public four years after precipitating the greatest economic collapse since the Great Depression, American investment bank Goldman Sachs has found itself in a...
View ArticleHedge Funds Thinking About Collapsing Denmark’s Economy Next Year
Tweet The world's biggest global macro hedge funds are working on plan to collapse the Danish economy sometime in 2013 by provoking an abrupt and uncontrolled rise of the Scandinavian country's...
View ArticleNFL Asks Fans For Donations to ‘Bring Back The Refs’
Tweet The National Football League announced today that it was seeking to end its labor dispute with its striking referees by asking NFL fans to donate to a special fund designed to help pay their...
View ArticleTime Warner Preparing Bid For BAE
Tweet As the putative merger between British aerospace and defence giant BAE Systems and its European counterpart EADS remains on ice due to security concerns of the U.S. government, an American suitor...
View ArticleWal-Mart CEO ‘Shocked’ By Low Wages, Offers 25% Raise
Tweet In response to ongoing strikes at its U.S. stores, retail giant Wal-Mart announced today an immediate 25% raise for all its 1.4 million American employees. CEO Michael T. Duke said he was...
View ArticleLehman Brothers CEO Arrested For Accounting Fraud
Tweet Former Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld and three other Lehman executives were arrested today for crimes related to the collapse of the venerable investment bank in September 2008. The four bankers...
View ArticleJamie Dimon Resigns From JP Morgan, Says ‘Put Bankers in Jail’
Tweet Jamie Dimon, often cited at the most responsible head of a Wall Street investment bank, reigned as Chairman and CEO of JP Morgan Chase today. In a blistering letter published this morning in...
View ArticleAndrew Ross Sorkin in Funk After Blankfein Breakup
Tweet Journalist Andrew Ross Sorkin is reportedly in a funk after breaking up with longtime boyfriend Lloyd Blankfein. According to close friends Sorkin, a New York Times columnist and CNBC host, was...
View ArticlePanda Meat Found in Vegan Chinese Dinners
Tweet The European food labeling scandal widened today as authorities disclosed the discovery of panda meat in ready-made Chinese meals sold in the U.K, France and the Netherlands. According to the...
View ArticleWhole Foods Introduces $35 Loaf of Bread With ‘Cruelty-Free Yeast’
Tweet Natural grocer Whole Foods introduced a $35 loaf of bread today. The 100% Organic Sprouted Grain Kalamata Caciocavallo Pain de Campagne with White Truffle Oil began selling this morning in select...
View ArticleMark Cuban Wins $590 Million Powerball Lottery
Tweet Billionaire Mark Cuban bought this weekend's winning Powerball lottery ticket, and will be awarded $590 million. According to the Tampa Post, the eccentric owner of the Dallas Mavericks purchased...
View ArticleFederal Reserve Leases Fleet of Helicopters
Tweet The U.S. Federal Reserve has leased 736 helicopters in the past two weeks, an investigation by The Daily Currant has revealed. According to sources the fleet is intended to be used in the Fed's...
View ArticleExxon CEO Stranded on Iceberg Off Greenland’s Coast
Tweet The CEO of oil giant ExxonMobil is stranded off the coast of Greenland after a company exploration ship hit an iceberg. According to a press release, Rex Tillerson was on the ship to check up on...
View ArticleEdward Snowden Joins Goldman Sachs, Receives Full Pardon
Tweet Edward Snowden, the intelligence whistleblower on the run from the U.S. government, has reportedly accepted a top job with investment banking giant Goldman Sachs. In a related development, the...
View ArticleGoldman Sachs Buying Up Baby Food, Selling It Back For Profit
Tweet Federal authorities announced today they are investigating Goldman Sachs for attempting to corner the baby food market. According to a complaint filed by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC),...
View ArticleFormer Lehman CEO Arrested…For Marijuana Possession
Tweet The former CEO of investment bank Lehman Brothers was arrested this morning for purchasing medical marijuana in Boulder, Colorado. In a statement to local media, the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA)...
View ArticleGoldman Sachs Price Gouging Typhoon Survivors
Tweet Goldman Sachs is coming under fierce criticism today for attempting to profit from Typhoon Haiyan though price gouging. According to local reports, a company controlled by the notorious Wall...
View ArticleGovernment Plans $2 Billion Bailout of Blockbuster
Tweet The Treasury Department this morning quietly announced a massive bailout of Blockbuster Video. According to a department spokesperson, the government will be injecting $2 billion into the ailing...
View ArticleWal-Mart to Offer Payday Loans to Employees
Walmart announced plans today to create its own payday loan business to support its financially strapped employees. In a press release posted on its website, the nation's largest retailer said that it...
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